I am feeling pretty homesick today, and sad to be missing out on things at home. I guess this happens to me every sunday, for some reason. Sarah is going ot be here this weekend which I am very glad about. Also, I suppose it won't be long till I go see Charlene. But today I am feeling rather lonely. I keep doing all these awesome things, but they are less awesome than they would be if I could experience them with my family and friends. Even though I have friends here that I hang out with, I still feel like I am experiencing London alone. I guess that was kind of the point though, right? Right. I didn't come into this expecting anything, so I don't know why I'm expecting things now.
I am thinking about getting a job or internship here. I feel like everyone back home is thinking about careers while all of us here are just screwing around, and that freaks me out. Also, I have way too much free time, and not enough money to fund it. Also, maybe I will meet some more people. Everyone else does their own thing, so I need to start doing my own thing too.
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12 comments:
haha the title reminded me of this thing we used to have in elementary school, rainy-day-holiday. If it ever coincided with sunday, we'd be pretty mad.
Anyway, I'm not thinking about jobs and internships and I'm freaking out too and I am back home (right?), so well, may be that'll make you feel better.
I feel lonely and homesick too. There's just something about Sundays, I guess.
i missed you today, so i played sufjan out loud, and pretended you were there, haha.
as for what pama said, I've been listening to sufjan even more than usual lately and missing you even more than I usually do. good thing I get to see you on Friday! oh and my parents are going to look for another hotel/keep the extra room for me so you don't need to worry about housing me.
omg, sufjan is on this moment for me... no joke. right when i read those comments. and its a playlist so... what a coincidence!
i wish i had you or sarah in my program. maybe we should've all applied to the same program and been roommates. haha. too bad we all wanted to go to different places.
don't worry about the job part unless its about money. apparently studying abroad looks ridiculously good on your grad school application/resume. as it should since we're paying thousands of dollars to be here.
i can't wait for you to come. i miss you so much!
and yeah I have to take an extra year to be here so I guess I'm in a different situation with the whole I-should-think-about-careers thing... but I wanted to do an internship here to get a head start (and because doing an internship abroad would look REALLY good on resumes) but my directors are not encouraging us looking for an internship. probably because it's more work for them. ughhhh just had to vent. but yeah your internships would be in English and you wouldn't need your directors' help so go for it!
Rainy days and Mondays.
That is what it is today at home, and even though I am home I am homesick too. I just realized that homesick is a perfect description for the wave of sadness that overtakes me at times. I am homesick for what home used to be when all of my children were still here all of the time. I can't tell you how much I miss that.
And I also am learning that growing up is hard to do, no matter what your age. But growth is good - right? Right...
why am i homesick, too? i am, i am, and i especially was yesterday. i hope that you got shrapnel in the mail, i hope you get more mail soon. i hope you'll direct some of that free time toward writing something for shrapnel 1.2, submissions due novemebr 20.
internships/jobs are good. find something you either love or hate - i find extremes most motivating these days.
do you need anything? real peanut butter? favorite hand lotion? i remember living in alaska for a summer and all i fucking wanted was a rubios burrito. did you know they dont have rubios in alaska? they dont have anything there. at least you have harrods.
if i send you a photo, will you write a poem about it?
xoxoxox we miss you
OMG RUBIO'S!!!
I'm writing a lot of comments on this. but I just realized the solution to your problem for the whole 'doing your own thing' thing. find a British boyfriend! if I had one in your situation I think I could occupy my days just listening to him talk.
I think my IQ just dropped several points.
sarah (Z), I'm stealing that line, and telling you about it. See it on my blog!
man oh man all these comments are so depressing and make me feel quite lonesome. but the melancholic titanic soundtrack playing right now may have some influence on my perspective.
p.s. midterms are the bane of my existence. why didn't you warn me?!? ...and can I still get an A in the class if I do bad on a midterm? ahhhh losingggg my miiiiinnnndddd
Sarah, do you honestly think I haven't considered that?! Trust me, I would have one if I could! I am working on it.
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